NCAA & peace

The campus was basically empty on Monday... and the skies were soooo dark and rainy. SU is mourning its loss on Sunday's game, ending their time at March Madness. :(


"In the past, we've lost in the Sweet 16 and weren't satisfied," SU's lone senior Rick Jackson said. "So for us to take a step back, I'm not satisfied with that."
Tear! 

Today, I've just been taking a step back. I woke up this morning and checked a midterm grade and was so upset all day because of it. Then in the evening, I had a client and my supervisor gave me the best comments on my session of the semester and I was beaming for probably a total of 5 minutes before I started worrying about my next evaluation. What has been up with me lately? I've had no peace in my heart this whole semester. School has been much more of a challenge this winter term, and I've been accrediting it wholly to the abundance of activities and increase in responsibilities that I've been trying to juggle. I keep telling myself that I'm just in over my head. But when I got home, I realized that I've been sounding exactly like everyone else in the clinic... complaining about work, miserable about everything, and a nervous wreck. I've been putting so much pressure on myself because I've been chasing after everyone's approval. I'm trying to get amazing marks to win the approval of my professors, since this leads to the possibility of being able to do my externship back home, to win the approval of my family and everyone back home. 


Why haven't I been able to live my life like Galatians 1:10? This is ridiculous. I'm creating a huge burden that's been crushing me! I'm holding on to it for dear life when Jesus has been waiting with outstretched arms to take it from me. This has been so tiring and it's no wonder I've had zero peace in my heart! I haven't been relying on God at all... only on myself. And of COURSE I can't handle all of this by myself. But He has brought me to this point and given me all the things on my plate for a reason... and I know that if He's brought me to it that He'll bring me through it. 


It's challenging, but I'm going to try to really let God take the reigns. I need to live a true God-centered life in order to not only get through this, but to get through this with joy in my heart! I know this can only be possible through Christ working in me. :)
How are you guys doing? Going through a rough patch too? Well, I miss you guys and I hope that you can also find the "peace that transcends all understanding" when you look to Jesus. I also hope that I'll be able to share this peace with you. :)


Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 4:6


i love you! :)
nat

depression city

It gets harder and harder to leave Toronto every time I come home. 
I'm dreading going back to Syracuse. That's putting it mildly. 
Watching the CN tower shrink into the distance makes me feel like everything awesome in life is somehow shrinking too! :( 


WELL, Syracuse is not thaaaaaat bad. Haha, but with the amount of work lately, I've been dedicating 7 days a week to school and I'm starting to burn out. After I came home, I bought a kajillion megabus tickets so that I can enjoy as many weekends in Toronto as I can this summer! The 5 hour bus ride used to seem like a huge nuisance. But i've been missing home so much that it now seems like the most minor of inconveniences. :) 
I'm currently blogging from megabus. Thank goodness for WiFi! But the bus is packed and there are quite a few young children crying. I guess it's expected though... the tickets are so cheap!


Anyways, I'm trying to hang in there... School kicks my butt, but I know I'll be home in no time. :)


See you soon!
xo nat